Moo! Moo? Once, When I was a little calf, I was rolling around in the mud one day, and
over the hill in the distance there was this tremendous racket. Curious as a cat
goes moo, I perked up my sensory array (that'd be my tail, to you uneducated humans)
and made a beeline around the back side of the barn so I could sneak around to the
side and investigate. I rounded the barn in no time, but there in my path was an
obstacle of such strange strangeness. It was strange. Looked strange. Smelled
strange. Moved strange. Would I dare to lick it, I'd bet a good stack of hay it
tasted strange too. Sitting in the sun, gleaming surfaces brilliantly gleaming in
the sun. Brightly gleaming tooth colored surface, gleamingly bright! SO bright! I
squinted at it. It's harder than you might think, squinting, if you are a cow. As
I am. A cow. I squinted hardyly at the gleaming object in an vain attempt to reduce
it's gleaming brightness. Squintingly. Then luck would be having me as a target just
then, clouds mustered up by coastal winds and long forgotten anceint gods of wind
became overhead. They loitered about the sky area, milling about aimlessly, then
moving on, to loiter elsewhere, but not before their invited friends arrived to
take their place. This recurrent cycle of loitering cloud friends acted as a virtual
umbrella of puffy goodness way up yonder in the sky, fluffingly diffusing the sun's
angry beams and thus reducing the gleamingly gleamingness. Now I could see the
obstacle in it's full muted glory. Squat, square. Rounded corners. Brilliant white
color, like extra clean teeth. It had a racing stripe too. Though to be honest, i
doubted very much it could run very fast or very far.
Squarely facing my new nemesis of the day, I stood stone still. If I moved it might
see me? Did it already see me? Did it even have eyes? So many questions raced through
my mind. I lowered my sensor array slowly and took several deep breaths, reasoning that
if it were immediately dangerous, it would have attacked already. Thus it was safe to
study it from a distance, which I began in ernest. Carefully swiveling my head back and
forth, side to side, rolling and rotating ears to widen my visual and audio feedback. It
was soon clear that the object was most likely asleep. It hadn't moved once. But again,
old Joey, the crazy donkey over at hay patch has been known to stand perfectly still
without moving for days. It could be a trap! But... this was no donkey? No, definitely not.
Ok, so I determined it's not a donkey, it's gleamingly bright, has racing stripes despite
looking like it doesn't move at all. It has no eyes. That I can see at least. Maybe it's an
alien creature from Neubartular DImension X! Nah, that's just silly. I steeled my nerves, and
started sideways walking in a semi-circle around it. Hrmm. It appears to be square. Not very aerodynamic
and definitely unworthy of the racing stripes or the spoiler setup. And why did it have wings
that went up and down? Did it fly sideways perhaps? Maybe it's bad at landings. Having circled the
twice now, I saw no evidence of feet either.
